OAKLAND—The Ancient Mariners began the sporting season of spring by visiting Oakland last night, and stepped lively to begin the fiscal year. After a disappointing infield fly by Ichiro, new hire Figgins garnered a walk. Once astride first, he was quickly astride second under false pretenses, then on to third when the overwrought Oakland Catcher Suzuki threw it right past Ellis on into the Athletics’ beautiful back yard. Ellis and Suzuki looked at each other as if to say, “I hope Chone doesn’t make a habit of this.”
So with Figgy on third, the stalwart first-bag-man Kotchman didn’t hesitate to pound a double against the back wall of the park, and before you could sneeze the M’s were playing baseball with all the bases.
In their second turn to bat, the bald-by-choice Seattle Catcher clocked a 3-1 over the center field fence in a sweet, clean arc into the gloaming. It should be noted that the fan who put his hands on it made a pretty catch, and he had a moment of team loyalty as he thought about throwing the sucker back. (But then the words, “I caught a home run ball on opening day” raced through his head and he thought better, took it home to his son, I hope.)
Then in the Thirsty Third it was Ichiro again, this time with his only hit of the night, a single, and when Figgins showed up in the box, Catcher Suzuki thought, “Here we go again.” And here we did go, because Itchy went running, grabbing bases as they came along until he got caught in the neighborhood of third. But in the meantime Figgins walked (again), and once he did that he stole (again), and then old Suzuki threw the ball about eight feet over poor Ellis at second, right at Davis who just happened to be playing center field today. (Again.)
Now with Figgins at third, Kotchman knows what to do, he’s been here before just a few minutes ago, and this time he tries to bang it off the left field wall. Buck stands under it, out there in left, but Figgy is going to try for it, and Buck makes it a race. It was a beautiful, daring charge to the plate by Figgins, he ended it by darting his hand around Suzuki’s back as he went by it, and picked home plate right out of the Catcher’s pocket.
Three runs in three innings was a pretty good deal for Our Sailors, and they let the Pitcher Hernandez rest on that until the Seventh.
Of course, Hernandez wasn’t resting, though he always seems to be, with his bad-first-impression slouch and his rumpled trousers. But as he ended the Fifth only having faced two batters over the minimum, he was reminiscent of a balding, bespectacled cubicle troll with a mustard spot on his tie, who despite his dire want of a flat iron has just made a killer presentation to the boss and bested you in quarterly sales. Even through the Oakland Seventh, Felix continued to work quickly, efficiently, and his breaking shit had a cruel, heartbreaking bite at the end.
It was in the Seventh, though, that the Elephantine Athletics mounted their offensive, through sheer infiltration. A pair of two-out, 3-1 walks in a row sat Hernandez down, and Pennington singled across Ellis. Next it was Davis, and his single was a potato deep into right center with such a generous helping of sour cream and chives that Penny got stars in his eyes and tried for third. Too bad for him Wilson came up with the ball in the basepath and put him out; but not before Buck came across to tie it all up.
So here was Kotchman in the Eighth, leading off, and before the umps can clean off their bifocals enough to realize there may be a baseball game afoot out here (and tied, at that), Kotch hit a doozey almost short enough into center, but not too short for Davis, whose acting skills played to rave reviews in the umpiring cadre. A replay clearly showed a short bounce into RJ’s glove, but Davis sold it and the umps were buying, and there was no getting that one back. That let the air out of the rest of the Nautical balloon, despite a strong double from Griffey. The Oaklands feinted in their half, but some steady fielding, including one of the Ms’ four double plays on the night, put an end to their stealthy bases on balls.
So on to the Naughty Ninth. Gutierrez, leading off, struck out. Johnson strolled aboard, and Wilson moved him over with a sacrifice. Back up to Ichiro, who was given his base on balls intentionally. Now on to Figgins, who slapped a ball into the infield, but who seemed to be surrounded by a strange force-field all night. The throw to first by the Greek Kouzmanoff was off by a hair, pulled Barton off the bag, and Chone wriggled around the tag and onto first.
Kotchman stands in again, and works the count full. The steady Baseman picked the one he wanted, and sent it right back to Davis again, but this time he wrote on it, “No funny business.” But Davis didn’t have a chance to reprise his Oscar role, and both Ichiro and Johnson walked on the dish. Aardsma neatly cleaned up the bottom of the Ninth; final score was the Seattles 5, home club 3, and Kotchman’s name was scribed on all but one of the Seamen’s scores.
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